May her memory be a blessing

Annie with grandparents Pattie and Warren Eastman at her high school graduation and her treasured award.

Each time one of my Jewish friends sends me this condolence, it brings with it a moment of peace. I love this saying as it seems to affirm the loss and acknowledge the life.

This is the goal behind Pocket Full of Rocks, the nonprofit we’ve created to continue the work that Annie dedicated herself to—acknowledging her life. As her mom, I often cautioned Annie to pay some more attention to herself—not spread herself out too thin—when she told me she was volunteering for this fundraiser or that organization. In fact, since she mostly worked for nonprofits during her various career decisions, it almost was like volunteering. She always went above and beyond her job description and we used to joke that she must make about $1.50 an hour with all the extra hours she put in.

But that was Annie. She put forth those efforts and all the extra because she believed in it. In helping and being present for others. And I want to help keep that belief going.

Annie’s birthday was yesterday and it was hard to anticipate January 17th without her excitement about it: what should we do? Do you want to go out or make food at home? What cake(s) do you want? What do you want? A couple of her most recent birthdays were darkened by the cancer—three years ago, at an appointment on her birthday—she found out the lumpectomy that was scheduled in just 2 weeks had suddenly turned into a double mastectomy. The following year, she had been given “good news”—no new progression—but which soon turned into a skin metastases diagnosis, and the next year—last year—even though she was so thin and easily exhausted, we spent about an hour at the grocery story picking out all the sweet treats she wanted to try. I think we bought at least 2 cakes and several other pastries and cupcakes. The shadow last year was the ever present thought that it might be her last birthday. It turned out to be so.

Make that 3 cakes . . .

I’m taking advantage of the celebration of her birthday—because she’d be pissed if we didn’t celebrate it—to share information about how we’re doing with Pocket Full of Rocks.

• We’ve established a Citizenship Scholarship award in her name to be awarded to a graduating Nonnewaug High School senior this year.

• We’re moving forward to create the line of dolls she began to develop, but had to put on hold due to the pandemic. (Wait til you see them…they’re awesome!)

• I’m starting to put together some of her writing to include in the memoir she began when she got her cancer diagnosis.

• Plans to support or help fund breast cancer awareness advocacy. (some are listed here.)

And, of course, we’re fundraising.¹ This is the part that she and I were both so bad at—asking people for money. But now that it’s for Annie and being able to support all the things she wanted to do in her life? I’m all in. I know that financial support isn’t always possible, but there will be tons of other ways to help out. Like sharing this post, for example. As we go forward, we hope to involve as many people as possible in as many ways as possible. It will like having a big party where some people bring the wine and beer, some bring a bag of chips and some just show up, but everyone has a good time. There’s nothing Annie loved more than a good party.

This link will bring you to her website that has a donation option. There is both an electronic option and a snail mail address. I won’t be filling up your inbox with donation pleas, either. Maybe every once in awhile, but the aim for this newsletter is to keep you updated on the projects we’re developing and implementing. Please feel free to be in touch with us or ask questions or send feedback. We’d love to hear from you.

And now I have to go get her birthday cake out of the oven.

1. Please note: We are officially listed with the State of Connecticut and awaiting on IRS recognition of our 501c3 status as tax-exempt, so donations are not tax-deductible. However, when the IRS does grant recognition, deductions will be deductible retroactive to the date the organization was incorporated.